My MS Story
It took a lot of soul-searching, tears and courage to face the fact that now it was all becoming too much. I was that exhausted by the end of the day; I would just fall asleep. I have 3 children of my own and they were not seeing me or getting my input as I was exhausted. Most weekends it was difficult to get out of bed due to the exhaustion. My children and husband were having to help me get dressed and undressed for school. At school, the children I taught were obviously upset with the fact I was now in a chair, but they adapted. Teaching was becoming very difficult though. The students had to give out and collect in the equipment, I could not walk around the classroom to help them, stand at the front to deliver a lesson or write on the whiteboard. Marking was a massive struggle as the tremor in my right hand worsened making my writing very difficult to understand and also painful. Typing was (is) also very difficult as I cannot use my left hand. Field-trips would be an absolute no-go and as a Geographer, getting out of the classroom is integral to my teaching. Cognitive decline was also beginning to show - I was struggling to retain new information (an issue in a dynamic subject like Geography - I could not remember the facts from new case studies and hated having to use a book during q&a with students to check facts, especially when recall and subject knowledge has always been a strength of mine. I was also struggling to recall students names and sometimes random words were appearing in my answers/explanations).
I spoke to my MS nurse, Neurologist and GP who advised me to look at ill-health retirement. I had a very open and honest conversation with my head and business manager that I was no longer fit to teach and they agreed. I wanted to retire ‘in-service’ as it was important to me to retire with dignity. I have always taken great pride in my job and given it all I can. The school spoke to HR who advised I would need to be off sick before I could put in my retirement. We decided that I would battle through until Christmas and then I would leave as I had a second round of my Lemtrada treatment. We did this so I felt my teaching career could come to a dignified end and for my peace of mind. I did not want my career to end by a sudden leaving on sick-pay. This was really important to me as I can honestly say I have given my all to being a teacher and I worry about my classes and students when I am not there. I retired in June 2017.
Whilst I was off on sick leave, friends and family but desperately fundraising to try and send me to Mexico for pioneering treatment called HSCT. I travelled to Mexico for treatment in September 20 17. Although I experienced initial improvements, after three months I took a turn for the worse and have continued to progress until the present day. I am what is called a non-responder.
I continue to battle on and live life to the best that I can and this is where my blog, starts, which will detail what I’m doing to try and cope with my condition.
