This means that the procedure did not work.

How do you how old fragile hopes and happiness of your family in your hands, whilst dealing with the devastating effects progressive advanced MS has? Grieving for the person you have become and the one that you no longer are.

To see your hopes and dreams of the future snatched away and turn to dust. Facing the reality of never ever getting better and the terrifying prospect of continuing to get worse.

Feeling like you have become a burden, unable to do anything for yourself.

It is devastating, to say the least.

You have to grieve for the past, present and future and then try to look forward. Luckily if you have fantastic friends and family you can do this.

“La vie est Belle”

Life can still be beautiful , even though I can’t walk. I’m still a mum, wife, daughter and auntie. No one can take that away from me.

For me, I continue to fight and keep trying my best to make everybody proud of me. I continue to work extremely hard on my physio for as long as I can. I aim to be content.

For a long time, I felt as if I have let everybody down. My Paralympic coach for not making it to the Olympics, the students I  taught, my family and myself. Is a daily battle to stay strong. Each morning I get up with courage and bravery to fight another day which leaves me exhausted, but I do it for love. To the people I let down, I want to say sorry, but this condition is evil and does not care about the impacts that it has. 

To show courage, bravery and determination to face every day and enjoy it to the best of my ability, to love my family and enjoy every single second I spend with them. That is my life now.